This is perhaps one of the most difficult season's greetings to write.

It’s hard to find someone not touched by loss, stress, and challenging situations this year. Some of us have been left some exhausted, brokenhearted, lonely, frustrated. We have endured, and this season may be a welcome distraction or simply another reminder of all that is different. For others, this year offered welcomed gifts: births, weddings, time with loved ones, new hobbies, more sleep. The season may be different than planned, but feels special all the same.

I guess it is always like that, the holidays meaning different things for different people. This year, it feels like everything has been amplified, and everyone impacted.

I myself have felt all of it.

We humans have a tendency to want to make sense of things, to compartmentalize and neatly file away our experiences. This is especially true of experiences which are challenging and painful. This year, I've found myself wanting to do this time and again, especially as the year wore on. To sum up 2020 in a quip or a single sentence may feel satisfying in some ways, but then we have to ignore or forget the truths and miss important lessons.

Here's 3 truths from my own 2020:

I lost someone I loved, and it hurts because I thought we had more time and we didn't. I wish I had said and done things that I assumed would happen in the future. I have been offered a lesson in the dishonesty of assumptions and taking action now.

I've been scared, of getting sick, of making others sick. I have been uncomfortable to be near people I care about and not know how to be in their presence from so far apart when I desire to hug them close. I am learning how much I want to show people I love them so they can feel it, it's important to me that people feel loved.

Plans made were changed, and changed again because we love people and decided to prioritize being closer to them. I have learned that my sweetheart and I choose to be led by our hearts rather than convention, and I like that about us.

"I measure the strength of a spirit by how much truth it can take." Friedrich Nietzsche.

Honestly Nietzche, sometimes I just want a dose of delightfully distracting fiction.

This year is complicated. And we are complex and uniquely designed to survive 'complicated' things.

If you are reading this. I know you have been.

Hopeful. Resilient. Flexible. Creative.

Hopeful for something better.

Resilient to get through challenging times.

Flexible to explore new ways to work, play, parent, exercise, socialize, and support others.

Creative in how to live life differently.

Who have you been this year?

What lessons have been offered?

I encourage you to take a moment or a few moments to reflect upon these questions. To see the strengths you have brought to this year, and the lessons you are taking forward.

Over the past 12 months during over a thousand conversations I had with people all over the globe I heard a common thread: we love one another. Our...

Recently I had a conversation with someone and they asked me how they can experience peace of mind when faced with unfair situations. The situation they were referring to was work related, where a colleague had unfairly thrown them ‘under the bus’ in an attempt to save themselves. But I have been asked this question in many different situations by many different clients.

We often begin with exploring the intellectual understanding of why people act as they do. This is important because so often we assume it is because others are terrible, immoral people who enjoy making us miserable, and when we can understand the psychology behind the behavior, we can understand why it exists. We move from confusion to clarity which is calmer for the brain.

But knowing why it exists, doesn’t instantly make us feel better.

Sure, with clarity we can comprehend, make sense of, and realize that we’re not losing our minds. But we are often left dysregulated. What I mean is, the feelings of discomfort or heaviness in our body, difficulty sleeping or concentrating. For many they experience replaying of the person/topic/incident that upset them in the first place. 

Dysregulation steals us from ourselves...and feels terrible.

How then, can we find peace, or at least some regulation? One way to begin supporting our body is with 7/11 diaphragmatic breathing. Here is a video I made which talks you through it.

Beyond that. Peace of mind is found by reconnecting with yourself. Answering questions like:

• Who am I going to be in this?
• What actions are in alignment with who I choose to be in life?
• If I am committed to being in integrity, it means that I have these guiding values and principles…

Whatever reflections bring you squarely back to who you are, that is where the offer of peace is located.

So, who are you? 

Who are you when there is unfairness in the world? 

In your world? 

Rachel Moore is a cognitive hypnotherapist and coach based in Fort Collins, Colorado and serving clients locally in Denver, Boulder and Loveland. After working on London's prestigious Harley Street for many years, Rachel now sees clients online from all over the world. Confidence, Anxiety, and feeling happier are some of the reasons that clients book with Rachel. If you'd like to book a free introduction session to explore if working with Rachel would benefit you then book here.

Over the past few weeks, I have been reminded about something really important. It’s not only coronavirus that is contagious, so is our attitude.

What we need right now, is emotional leadership. In order to do that, we need to set the example, be a role model to those around us, and purposely define and lead the way.

What we need right now, is emotional leadership. In order to do that, we need to set the example, be a role model to those around us, and purposely define and lead the way.

To help with that, I offer these 3 suggestions.

• 7/11 Diaphragmatic Breathing. Focus on taking breaths into your belly as though you are blowing up a balloon to the count or 7, and then breath all that air out for the count of 11. This simple practice will help you stay regulated, and encourage those around you to stay regulated too. Do them often, and especially when you can feel the tension within you rising. Video instructions here.
• Daily gratitude's. I've been in isolation with my best friend and her family. At dinner, we noticed that the conversation had dwindled because we are spending all day together. With so much that is lost to us in times of restrictions and illness, we decided to share our 3 gratitude's for the day. Whether doing this with yourself and your journal, or at the dinner table with those you are isolated with, I invite you to focus on what else is true of each day.
• Curated Input. Be aware of balancing input. Endless Netflix binges won't feed your mind any better than endless news reporting. But balance in what you consume, what you create, read, write, play etc... you have choices.

Rachel Moore is a cognitive hypnotherapist and coach based in Fort Collins, Colorado and serving clients locally in Denver, Boulder and Loveland. After working on London's prestigious Harley Street for many years, Rachel now sees clients online from all over the world. Confidence, Anxiety, and feeling happier are some of the reasons that clients book with Rachel. If you'd like to book a free introduction session to explore if working with Rachel would benefit you then book here.