Why 'proven methods' may fail you
Over the years, I've heard countless variations of the phrase, "that doesn't work for me." Usually, it's said with a touch of frustration, a sense of disappointment, or even embarrassment. And yes, I've definitely said it to myself, more than once.
Many moons ago, I joined Weight Watchers. Despite dreading the weekly weigh-ins and the questionable-tasting "approved" foods (who knew cardboard had calories?), I committed fully. I meticulously tracked every point, exercised diligently, and walked like my life depended on it.
Yet week after week, my efforts were rewarded with…pretty much nothing. At weekly weigh ins, the group leaders' sympathetic looks ("Rough week, eh?") and cheery encouragement ("You'll get it next time!") became my weekly dose of humiliation.
After six months of absolute dedication, I’d lost just six pounds, barely a pound a month. The breaking point was watching a newcomer receive enthusiastic applause (and an actual star sticker!) for losing 14 pounds in her first week. Fourteen pounds! Clearly, Weight Watchers and I needed to break up, and we did right then.
Back then, I genuinely believed something was wrong with me. Everyone else seemed to have cracked the code, so why not me?
Now, with hindsight, I realize my body wasn't broken; it was simply unique. Those "proven methods" just weren't proven for me.
This idea applies to every wellness or self-care practice. If gratitude journaling leaves you grumbling instead of grateful, toss the notebook. If nature hikes make you itch (literally or figuratively), there's no shame in staying indoors. Evidence-based tools can be incredibly helpful—but remember, even if the researchers studied people like you, they didn't study you specifically.
Saying something isn’t working isn’t just okay, it’s necessary. My clients know they can always share openly and directly about what does or doesn't click for them—it's just part of how we work together. No judgments, no awkwardness, just honest exploration. Each of us is essentially a one-person experiment: we try things out, learn from them, and adjust accordingly until we find our perfect fit.
You don’t have to squeeze yourself into the research box—you only need to find what truly fits you.